What I struggle with is how to spark a flame of passion or interest. How do you help support and encourage someone when they dont seem to really have anything that they are focussed on. Nothing that really gets them excited or makes them smile through their eyes. It is really hard.
My ten year old son is like this. He lives in a very dream-like world that really does not seem to enter our reality very often. He is detached from the rest of us in that he walks around with his head in the clouds. He has a wonderful imagination and wants to be an author one day, but if I try to encourage that at all, he shys away from it. He almost pulls away from the interest if it seems to require any focus or work at all. Sometimes I panic that he is just plain lazy, but then I know in my heart that he isnt, that he just hasnt found his spark.
The other day he was asking to watch some movie previews on my computer and once I said yes, he was thrilled. He watched preview after preview and was so excited and happy about them all. He was shining with joy. I know that he has always loved movies, but is it really his "thing"? Can watching movies really be it? Im trying to stear him in the direction of writing screen plays or working in the movie industry one day. He seems interested, but I worry about whether or not that is a reasonable path for anyone to go down. Arent I supposed to give him as many tools as I can possibly fit in his belt so he can be armed and ready for whatever his heart leads him to in the future? He doesnt want my tools!! He says their too heavy and cumbersome; he would rather just use some stick he found out in the yard. :-)
I did plan a fun summer of things that might spark an interest in him. He is getting to sample a lot of fun things and hopefully by the end of it all, he will have a little something that nourishes him and makes him feel motivated in even the smallest of ways. We'll see...
Y'know, I think I just hit on my issue. I dont feel that he is being nourished by anything. Nothing seems to really sink in and energize him. It's like everything just sits outside on a shallow surface level and the slightest breeze can come along and blow it off into the wind.
He does enjoy reading, mythology, movies, games and tv. That is his list. All of it. OK, well maybe you can add storytelling in various forms as well. He dances Flamenco, but if I said he needs to stop he would be unfazed. He plays drums, but he never wants to practice and has no real desire to improve or move up in ability. He is perfectly happy playing in the beginner level, that is fun, without effort. He likes to go rockclimbing, but he doesnt want to join the team, that is too much work and he isnt competetive.
I feel terrible writing all this, as if Im not holding him in a positive light. But I truly an amazed by his creativity and talents. He has a giant pool of potential and ability. I just cant figure out how to get him to dip his toe into it.
Maybe more time...
Maybe this summer...
Maybe I just need to leave the poor kid alone...
I cant help but feel that once his fire is lit that he will just take off and set the world on fire. I just know it!!!!
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